The Quest for 7: Patriots Free Agent Frenzy, Edelman the New Gronk, McDaniels Duped? 1.13.20

Morning! Welcome to The Quest for 7, where volunteer writer, Steven Viner, scours the net for seven Patriots related articles from other sites offering different points of view on the six-time champs. Paid subscribers not only get to read all seven, but they also get to check out his always fiery "Steve's Soapbox" at the end.

1. The Vince McMahon of Boston Sports Journal, Greg Bedard, comes out strutting with a lineup of champion free agents in his column An early look at NFL free agents, Brady & Raiders, divisional round picks. The list of available players will have Patriots fans chanting when the pyrotechnics start, until he announces the main event, revealing the alarmingly bad quarterback market. But as a guest on Jason McIntyre's Podcast, Bedard redeems himself by turning into Stone Cold Greg Austin, when an overly confident Jason McIntyre jumps off the top rope with a flying "Dynasty-is-over" elbow, only to have Bedard block and counter with a Stone-Cold Stunner. One, two, three. Ding! Ding! Ding! "And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold Greg said so!"

2. Trying to keep Patriots fans off the ledge, I've been scratching and clawing for positive stories, and Tyler Sullivan of CBSSports give us Seven steps to get Patriots back into Super Bowl contention. Obviously the first step is for the Patriots to admit they have a problem. Second is believing in a higher—. Oh. Wait. Am I thinking of something else?

3. Like a pimply teenager, Julian Edelman news keeps breaking out all over the place. First, a report by Zack Cox of NESN says: Julian Edelman played most of the season with this painful injury. Then Henry McKenna of Patriots Wire tells us that Mighty Mouse will undergo at least 2 medical procedures this offseason. Then, Brad Crawford of 247 Sports wrote how JE11's Gronk-ish shenanigans, got him arrested in Beverly Hills. But before you scold that rascally Edelman, Bernd Buchmasser of Pats Pulpit reminds us that Julian Edelman wins this very prestigious award. Please tell me it was Belichick who bailed Julian out: Edelman, "Thanks coach. It wasn't my fault. Paul Pierce triple-dog dared me, and—" Hoodie, "Get in the car. Wait 'til we get home." Edelman, "But, but—" Hoodie, "Say another word, and you're getting a fresh one."

4. In my Salty Tears Take of the day, 98.5 The Sports Hub's own, Matt Dolloff's article informs us that NFL lets fans vote for the "greatest moments" in league history and naturally it's a slanted anti-Patriots sham. Ah, the adorable petty Haters. These diaper-wearing, binky-sucking, temper-tantrum throwing brats would pass on a filet mignon because it was served on a Patriots plate for a cube steak in a McDonald's wrapper. Seriously. Grow up, cry-babies.

5. Mike Reiss of ESPN breaks down the odds of 11 key Patriots free agents returning. Mike gives out his percentages for these starters to return. If you missed it a couple weeks back, Bedard beat Reiss to the punch with his NFL Notebook: Setting the stage for the Patriots' busy offseason by breaking down the free agents. If Bedard is Stone Cold, and Reiss is The Rock, who comes out on top in this heavyweight battle?

6. The Boston Globe staff reports BREAKING NEWS: Browns hire Kevin Stefanski over Josh McDaniels for head coaching job. Starting to feel like Josh McDaniels is that poor woman from that State Farm commercial. "Oh you almost had it! You gotta be quicker than that!" (Click Here)

7.  Elizabeth Swinton of Sports Illustrated reports that Tom Brady said he will not make a decision on future 'for some considerable time.' Elizabeth does a great job of detailing the important nuggets from Tom Brady's interview with Jim Gray, along with an update on TB12's recent social media post. Have to wonder what the G.O.A.T. considers, "considerable time"? Scary with that catastrophic March 18th deadline looming? Will Brady crush Patriots fans hearts to mush and leave, triggering a 13-million dead-money cap hit? Will Steve Viner find himself in a real-life version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? Stay tuned.

STEVE'S SOAPBOX

The place where Steve gets to give his take of the day from the perspective of a Patriots fan.

The topic has been discussed ad nauseam. Every time Batman Brady reached for his Batbelt this year, he found no weapons beside a broken Bat Boomerang with the number 11 on it. Some blame G.M. Belichick's failed free agents, others blame him drafting N'Keal Harry. But the blame should fall on a decision Belichick made — or more accurately, didn't make — a little over two years ago: Not trading the Boy Wonder, Jimmy Garoppolo, to Cleveland for Houston's first-round pick.

What happened? Deshaun Watson went down for the year, and the Patriots could have gotten the 4th overall pick in 2018 draft for Garoppolo.

What does a top 5 pick get you? A diamond handle grappling hook and a Bat Mobile made out of gold with heated seats. What does Belichick love more than his own children? Trading down in the draft. Check out the 10 most significant trades for draft picks in NFL history. The Patriots could have received a late first, second, and third, in the 2018 draft, and a first in the 2019 draft. That was our chance to load up around the G.O.A.T. Instead, Robin is in San Francisco, one game away from the Super Bowl, while Batman sits in Wayne manor with a broken body and a wasted year in his Batbelt. Why Bill?

In this story, Belichick is the Joker.

Be on the lookout for more The Quest for 7 features. Here are previous links for more Salty Tears and Soapbox.

1.10.20  1.9.20  1.8.20  1.7.20  1.6.20  1.3.20  1.2.20  12.31.19  12.30.19  Brady Edition  12.27.19  12.26.19  12.24.19  12.23.19