I don't know Theo Epstein. Never met him. I've tried interviewing him a couple of times, but he never got back to me. Must have been busy. He's a busy guy!
As for what keeps him busy these days, nobody really knows. He's a senior adviser and minority owner of Fenway Sports Group. We all understand what that means ... sort of. He used to work as a consultant for Major League Baseball, but he left that gig when moving over to FSG. What he does when he goes to work, though, is anyone's guess.
I don't know what he does. But I know what he's done.
And Red Sox principal owner John Henry ought to let the man see if he can do it again.
While ownership clearly has been holding out hope that Craig Breslow's vision would bear fruit this summer, it's just not happening. The 2026 Red Sox have shown tens of thousands of Scottish visitors in Boston what a dreadful baseball team looks like, scoring a grand total of four runs while getting swept at home by the Blue Jays this week. Instead of noting how far they are from the third wild card (6.5 games), it's much easier to note how close they are to being dead last in the American League (a half-game up on the Angels, a franchise that has been irrelevant for 15 years). Much of this situation is a direct result of Breslow's decision-making as chief baseball officer since the fall of 2023.
Breslow, quite simply, is not the guy.
And the thing is, Breslow wasn't the guy when he was hired. He was woefully inexperienced, but with seemingly nobody wanting to take the job, Breslow was the best the organization could do. Ten people said "thanks but no thanks" when offered an opportunity to take over the Red Sox. Breslow, the 11th option, said, "Sure."
Whatever it was that kept people away -- the financial parameters put in place by Henry, the way Chaim Bloom got a bit of a raw deal in his brief tenure, the way Dave Dombrowski was dumped less than a year after winning a World Series, the ever-changing "philosophies" of ownership -- it became clear that what was once one of the premier jobs in all of sports had fallen off most qualified individuals' wish lists.
And now, a few years later, the job is inarguably less desirable.
That's why it has to be Theo. There's nobody else but Theo. Sure, he's an adult, and a professional, and a capital B Businessman, but the Red Sox are still the team he grew up rooting for. It's still the team he's forever associated with. It's a team for which he delivered the unthinkable back in 2004, helping to deliver a championship to a cursed franchise by using a perfect blend of analytics and baseball instincts.
After Boston went 86 years without winning a World Series, Epstein helped deliver two in a span of four seasons.
And then he went to Chicago and wiped out the Cubs' 108-year championship drought for good measure.
He's well-established as one of the greatest executives in the history of the game. He's got a unique set of skills, know-how and conviction that has allowed him to earn this reputation. And you're telling me he's now content to just sit behind a desk, make some phone calls, sit in some meetings, and use that big old brain of his to do very little actual work?
Perhaps after grinding in baseball for so long, he's enjoyed the break. Yet, much like Batman, when the light hits the night sky, some people cannot choose their calling. Instead of a bat signal, maybe the people at the Prudential Tower can just write, "SAVE US, THEO" in the night sky, prompting Epstein to look up, sigh deeply, roll up his sleeves and ... save the Boston Red Sox.
His first order of business will be overseeing a fire sale this summer. Everything must go. After identifying the most enticing prospects around the league, Epstein can go hunting to restock the organization with some big league-ready (or close to it) players who can lead the team into the future. Any veteran without a long-term contract is a no-brainer to move. That list includes Aroldis Chapman, Sonny Gray, Willson Contreras (the three of whom will carry the most obvious value in a pre-deadline deal for a team that believes it is one piece away from winning a World Series), Jarren Duran and Isiah Kiner-Falefa.
You could be talked into Garrett Whitlock (but he's just so cheap for the next two years, the buying team would have to really make it worth the Red Sox' while). Masataka Yoshida can mercifully be DFA'd, finally. Theo can convince Henry that it's a net positive to eat the cash (call it $27 million) and remove the player from the roster.
If anyone wants a young, impact player (Wilyer Abreu, Ceddanne Rafaela) or a young player with potential (Roman Anthony, Marcelo Mayer) then they're REALLY going to have to pay.
Spare parts -- any of the Connor Wong-Mickey Gasper-Carlos Narvaez catching trio, Caleb Durbin, Andruw Monasterio, etc. -- can be had for a flier.
And if anyone wants Payton Tolle or Connelly Early, well, then too bad. Unlike with Breslow, this organization under Epstein will be smart enough to hang on to good, young, controllable left-handed pitching.
After reloading the roster, Epstein can really get to work next year in building up a contender. Henry has been skittish about spending big money in the modern game, but there's one man whom he trusts to handle the company credit card. His name is Theo.
With the freedom to make a creative deadline addition or two in 2027 (if there is a season), Epstein can go shopping that following winter to make the type of signings or acquisitions that the Red Sox used to be known for.
Make the necessary trades, rebuild the system, make some major additions.
Save the Red Sox.
It's that simple.
Of course, saving the Red Sox might not be Theo's main priority in life right now. Yet he's unquestionably a man who loves taking on what many believe to be an impossible challenge. Delivering championships to the Red Sox (after an 86-year drought) and Cubs (after a 108-year drought) was incredible, historic, unfathomable. If it had been a movie, nobody would have believed it.
Quite simply, Theo Epstein has nothing to prove. Obviously.
However!
Rescuing the Red Sox from this current state would be yet another feather to stick in his already overflowing-with-feathers cap. And it doesn't feel as though anybody else is ready, willing or able to do it.
So, what do you say, Theo?
Can you start Monday?