Picks 'n Pops: Schedules, fake news, and supposedly famous people

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because now I don't have any excuses that prevent me from hosting the big family Christmas gathering. 

- I love all the rankings of games on the NBA schedule, as if everyone doesn’t play everyone every season. It’s not like Boston playing the Blazers or Hawks was a surprise. Sure, now we know when things will happen, and we can plan things out, but ranking the top-10 games could have happened at any time. 

- The NBA really seems to want to be the NFL, but it has no shot. The schedule means something in the NFL because some teams don’t play each other for a long time. The Patriots' season opener is against the Raiders, and they haven't played since 2023. 

The league isn’t ever going to be the NFL. Give it a rest. 

- The Celtics had some fun with their schedule release video. 

I’ll be honest, I don’t know who these guys are. They're everywhere. They’ve been in Jayson Tatum’s candy ads. They are somehow, somewhat famous.

But this is where I am in life. I don’t know any famous people anymore. It won’t be long before I don’t recognize anyone in a celebrity sports game. In a race between new songs I hear and new pounds I gain, the music is getting lapped multiple times. I scrolled down TMZ the other day and I thought my computer had somehow changed languages on me. 

- Minnesota using the hydraulic press to crush items related to the teams they play is one of the best schedule reveals. 

Lucky Charms for the Celtics is clever. A Degrassi box set for Toronto is hilarious. A Dallas Cowboys helmet for the Lakers is genius. 

- This kid in the Houston Rockets reveal is giving me real grown Home Alone vibes, which would make me the biggest ever fan of the Wet Bandits. 

- The NBA released its Rivals Week schedule. 

These are rivals? Allow me to borrow from Inigo Montoya here … you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. 

- What’s really happening with Rivals Week is that Peacock and Prime … which is also the name of either the worst law firm in the world or a country music and comedy festival at the Tennessee State Fair … want known ratings-getters for their exclusive broadcasts.

So the league has to shoehorn the Lakers and Warriors into everything. Instead of giving us Orlando-Detroit and building the marketing around a future rivalry at the top of the East, the Magic are out completely because we need to see Steph Curry and LeBron James like we’re doing John Wick 9 or the 200th Marvel movie. 

“Hey, we just created a system where teams people historically haven't cared about are going to make runs to the top of the league, right?”

“Yup. Parity, baby!” 

“So we should probably push those teams a little so we can build momentum for their run.” 

“Nah. Let’s give them another round of Curry and LeBron and ride that until the wheels fall off with no backup plan.” 

- A lot of people are getting shut out of NBA games … and all pro sports in general … with the move to streaming services. It’s just getting too expensive and confusing to watch. 

- Tatum let us in for a behind-the-scenes glimpse at his rehab … or at least standing where his rehab happens sometimes.

I’ll go back to when I asked team president Rich Gotham about Tatum’s potential return and he said, “That’s a down the road question,” and “what I know about JT is he's going to do everything he can to put us in a position to make a decision.”

The Celtics aren’t ruling out a return. 

And by the way, if he’s ready to go in February or March, there's real value to not only getting him on the floor to get back into the swing of things, but also getting him to play with some of these fringe guys the team is testing this season. 

What’s wrong with some low-pressure pick-and-roll with Luka Garza or Chris Boucher? Even if Tatum isn’t fully “Tatum” yet, getting a few weeks of time with him on the floor could be valuable for everyone. 

As always, the caveat is that Tatum is FULLY CLEARED by EVERYONE. No one is rushing him back. No one is pushing for something he’s not ready for. But if everyone involved, from trainers to doctors to surgeons to the Pope if he needs to get in on this, says he’s ready to play, then he should play and the team can get some valuable information out of it. 

- Tatum isn’t too hurt to teach Deuce a lesson. 

Nick Sang, Tatum’s trainer, is the most important person in the world right now. Even Deuce has to learn that. The hard way, if necessary. 

- The league has finally approved the sale of the Celtics to Bill Chisholm. Now we wait to see if all of this messy preamble leads to a similarly messy ownership, or if it was just a bumpy takeoff on an otherwise smooth flight.

- Wyc Grousbeck not remaining as governor of the Celtics is actually the most normal thing about this entire sale. It’s the one development I can point to and say “oh, that actually makes sense.” 

- The WNBA wants Houston to buy the Connecticut Sun and move them there. I need to know what their rationale is because on the surface it looks like they're passing up on a perfect opportunity to move into a major market that wants a team. 

- There's a report floating around that Payton Pritchard will start this season. While he might, there's no way to know that now, especially with Joe Mazzulla as the head coach. 

Personally, I like Pritchard coming off the bench at the 7:00 mark for Derrick White so White can sub in for Jaylen Brown at the 2:00 mark. I think staggering White and Brown in the middle of halves makes sense. We’ll see how the preseason goes. I can’t rule anything out either. 

- Yahoo is going too far trying to trick people into clicking on their links. Look at this crap:

“Celtics officially sign two-time NBA Champion ex-Warriors forward to assist Jaylen Brown” with a picture of Brown and Kevin Durant. 

They obviously want you to think it’s Durant. The only reason they put Brown’s name in the headline is so they could use that photo. 

I get that people need clicks, but this the hottest of hot garbage. They did it with this headline too: 

“Celtics parting ways with 6-foot-7, 25-year-old forward before 2025-26 season” and a picture of Tatum, as if to say the Celtics have decided to cut ties with him. The shock of the insinuation is meant to distract from him not actually 6’7” or 25. 

This is definitely a moment where the rest of the world is going in one direction and I’m going in another. I look at this stuff and I equate it to lying for clicks. I’m sure 20-somethings don’t think it’s a big deal, but I find it journalistically reprehensible. It erodes the trust of a reader and eventually those headlines will also be ineffective. 

What’s next? 

“The Celtics made a move and we’ve kidnapped your family. Click on this story or we start killing hostages.” 

- It’s fun that Derrick White kept cigars from the 2022 season and handed them out after winning the championship two years later. 

It’s a fun, full-circle kind of moment, but man, those cigars must have been stale as hell. This gives me an idea, though. 

If a team REALLY wants to set a championship expectation, how about a humidor in the locker room? A place to store your victory cigars for when you win the championship? 

Okay, maybe it’s not my best idea. 

- The Lakers are unveiling a Pat Riley statue in February when the Celtics visit. There's no truth to the rumor that it will include a realistic hair gel fountain. 

- The Portland Trail Blazers have been sold to Tom Dundon, owner of their logo cousins, the Carolina Hurricanes.

Considering the state of the franchise, maybe we can call them the Portland (tropical) Depressions. 

- Megadeth just announced it's releasing a final album and going on a farewell tour. People reacted to the news by overwhelmingly saying, “wait, Megadeth was still a thing?”    

- He had to go to Puerto Rico to do it, but Danilo Gallinari is a champion and Finals MVP

Hey man, hoops is hoops and crowds are crowds. Winning a championship in front of a huge crowd like that has to feel great. They got a big celebration, a parade, big trophies … the whole shebang. 

This goes to my point about playing in leagues other than the NBA if the NBA opportunity isn’t there. There's money to be made and a championship to be won. The NBA is the pinnacle, but don’t miss out on chances like this if they're there. 

And while we’re here, let’s give Gallo one more award, perhaps the most prestigious of them all, because he’s having the Best Week Ever!

- This week’s AI-generated image: getting granular on schedule release day. 

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored.