Picks 'n Pops: Destroying a tired narrative, biggest Finals questions, and a beer thief

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because I watched a bunch of clips of Bill Walton calling college games and it triggered a three-day acid trip. 

- The more I look at this Finals series, the fewer games I think it’s going to go. I have to make sure I have a healthy Luka Doncic factor baked into things so I account for stuff that shouldn’t happen. He’s going to do things that don’t make sense. 

- Kristaps Porzingis was moving around well at practice, getting some 3-point shots up. 

“He’s getting better,” Joe Mazzulla said. “He’s out there shooting. Went through a couple of drills in practice. So, progressing well and kind of confident where he's at right now.”

Oh great. Are you confident in him being available for Game 1?

“I'm confident where he's at on whatever day today is.” 

Classic Joe. Also, no one in the NBA knows what day it is. 

Don’t worry, there's a lot of classic Joe today. For example …

- The Celtics have been so boring that all the emotional manipulators on national talk shows have been forced to lean on their hits. So now they’ve been hitting on how Jayson Tatum didn’t smile enough when Jaylen Brown won the ECF MVP, which … how little self-respect do you have to have to make that argument in front of a camera? 

This comes after Stephen A. Smith said Brown was not liked, which was another cheap shot. Mazzulla was asked about it and he did not hold back: 

“The whole thing that really pisses me off is that it's really unfair to both of them. I think it's stupid that people have to use those two guys' names and use information that they don't know so they can create clickbait so that they can stay relevant. It's really unfair that those two get compared. They're two completely different people, two completely different players. They're great teammates, they love each other. They go about winning and they go about their process in a different way. So why they have to always be lumped together, I think is unfair and people just use it for their own relativity. 

“At the end of the day, those two guys, their relationship is their relationship. They love each other, they push each other every single day in practice. They communicate with each other, but they go about winning differently. I think they both get an unfair, what's the word, being compared to each other. They're different and you see other duos around the league don't have to go through that and it's because of the platform they have. It's because they've been so successful their entire careers. They've been handling longstanding success at a high, high level.

“So people need them in order to stay relevant. They should not talk on speculation. They should get to know them as people before they talk about that. They're two of the greatest teammates and players that you could have and it's been an honor to coach both of them. It doesn't mean they have to be the same. So it's bullshit. I love both of them and they deserve better.”

- It’s funny that mentions of Celtics injuries in past playoff runs were “excuses,” but the mentions of injuries to other teams these playoffs are “reasons.” 

- This is the most important offseason of Karl-Anthony Towns’ career. He’s either going to recognize that he was a big part of the problem in this series against Dallas and fix things, or he’s going to play the victim and be the same old talented but unreliable guy. 

- Wait, so guys who leave on their own in free agency are also out for revenge?

- My two biggest questions of the Finals: Who does Doncic guard? Who does Kyrie Irving guard? If Dallas can find good answers, they’ll be fine. There don’t seem to be good answers, though. 

- Ty Lue is getting $14 million a year to coach a Clippers team that will never win a championship. 

- It was refreshing to hear Sam Presti talk openly about the Gordon Hayward trade. 

"I missed on that," he said. "That's on me. But I'm learning, I'm trying to learn this team, I'm trying to learn the pace of the team a little bit. And trying to be a great observer of the team as it's going through its paces, knowing that it's really going to change on its own in and of itself."

It’s a great insight into the challenges of constructing a team. We can say adding a veteran to a young core made sense, and maybe it did back in September or October, but by the time the trade deadline came around, the opportunity might have simply been missed.

It doesn’t help that Hayward is a shell of himself. I do wonder if Brad Stevens might try to talk Hayward into a bench role on a minimum deal in Boston, but I’m not sure if that's the best idea. I think Hayward has good basketball left in him in the right role, and I do think that role could exist in Boston, but he needs to be there mentally. He needs to accept a lot of things about himself. 

- I don’t know if the afterlife exists, but I sure hope it does because Bill Walton with eternity at his disposal would be amazing. 

- I’m happy Josh Gibson is getting long-overdue recognition in the record books. 

- A question was posed to Mazzulla about Irving, and it started with “Kyrie is going to be perceived as a villain…” 

Mazzulla interjected and said, “Aren’t we all in someone’s eyes? We’re all villains in someone’s eyes.” 

Did Bill Walton's mushrooms get into Mazzulla's salad this afternoon?

- If you are waiting to see if Boston wins a championship to determine if they've had a great season, then you’re doing it wrong. 

Obviously, the goal is to win a title, and not doing so would be a disappointing end. But three weeks does not invalidate more than seven months of results. And that applies to both teams.

- I was not prepared for how much people in Indianapolis love the Indy 500.

- If online advertisers know I’ve been to certain sites so they can show me ads, why can’t they see that I checked out of that site and already bought what’s in the ads? 

- Lenny Kravitz says he’s staying celibate until he meets the right person. 

• Joke #1: I don’t understand why he’s doing that. There's plenty of time to be celibate after you get married.
• Joke #2: What a flex. “I was hooking up with too many women. I had to cut back.” Thanks for the subtlety, Lenny.
• Joke #3: I’m pretty sure Lenny Kravitz defines “celibacy” as anything less than a threesome.

- Michael Finley casually taking Luka’s beer away is an all-time funny NBA moment

It’s just Luka and his dad. Luka’s enjoying some suds after a hard day’s work, and in comes the boss to run his fun. 

• First of all, that was just so smoothly done. Finley comes right in, snags it, moves on to say hi to Luka’s dad, and then moves on as if nothing happened. 
• Secondly, Luka’s face is priceless. He’s in complete disbelief. 
• Third, recognizing this is a perception thing, he declares “no cameras,” and makes a reach for his beer. 
• Finally, the shrug. Resignation … but also understanding that he’s got a sixer he stashed in the bucket after icing his ankles earlier. 

- This week’s Bing AI-generated image: Showdown is set

I like this one because those are clearly those toy guns with the flag that says “bang” on it. In my universe, they also include Mike Breen’s face with a speech bubble. 

Also Bing just thinks every leprechaun has a big orange beard. 

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored