McAdam: With diagnosis of a flexor strain, Chris Sale is far from out of the woods

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Having received word he was dealing with a flexor strain and not, as had been feared, further damage to his ulnar collateral ligament, you might have expected Chris Sale to be awash in relief when he met with reporters Thursday morning.

Think again.

Although multiple orthopedic experts told Sale in recent days that Tommy John surgery isn't necessary now, Sale hardly seemed like someone who had been given good medical news.

To the contrary, Sale expressed frustration, uncertainty and a healthy serving of guilt as he discussed the condition of his elbow and his inability to deliver for a team which gave him a five-year, $145 million contract extension less than 12 months ago.

"It sucks,'' said a disconsolate Sale. "I obviously don't want to be sitting here giving you this information. Tough spot, for myself, this team and the organization going forward. ... There's optimism to be had and I'm thankful for that, but I know the situation we're in right now and it's not fun ... this is about as tough a situation as I've ever been in.''

And he suggested he's far from out of the woods when it comes to undergoing Tommy John surgery.

"That's what the future holds for me, that's what we'll determine in another two to three weeks,'' he said. "I'm going to know in another two weeks. I guess we'll find out.''

Again and again, in a 15-minute exchange with reporters, Sale referenced his guilt over being unable to deliver since he signed his extension.



"There's an expectation level that our fans, my team, (the media), myself hold me to,'' noted Sale, "and I haven't met that. I haven't. I was able to get through most of my career doing what I love to do and helping my team win and for sure, over the last year and up to this point, I've done nothing but fall flat on my face. It's a gut punch. It's a tough realization, but I've said it time and time again: I have no time to hang my head or sit in the corner and pout. I've got work to do. I've got an uphill battle to climb. But I've got my climbing shoes on, so I'll be ready to roll, whatever way we've got to go.''

Sale is shut down for another week, at which point he'll begin to throw again in the hope that rest and some anti-inflammatory medication will relieve him of the discomfort he felt Monday, a day after he tossed a 15-pitch live batting practice session.

"That's the plan. That's what we're hoping for,'' said Sale. "Everyone agreed, 'Hey, let's take some time off, get some anti-inflammatories in there, start another throwing program and see where we get.' That's all I've got to go on and that's what I'm going to roll with.''

Asked if he felt the possibility of Tommy John surgery continues to hang over his head, Sale didn't hesitate with his answer.

"Absolutely,'' he said. "Tommy John's been a factor in my life for 20 years now. Obviously, with these things happening, it's on the table. But it's always been on the table. But that's not something I'm going to worry myself with. I can't go out there with that in the back of my mind. I have to have the confidence that what we're doing is going to work. ... I'm not going to sit here and think negative thoughts.''

But Sale knows he's dealing with uncertainty. He refused to guess how soon he might make his next start for the Sox.

"I can't tell you that,'' said Sale. "I will know more a couple of weeks from now. As of now, I'm shut down. I can't tell how it feels until I pick up a baseball. Right now, I'm just spinning my wheels. Until this rest period is over, until I pick up a baseball, God's honest truth, I can't tell you guys anything more than that.''

Sale said the discomfort he felt Monday morning was "similar'' to what he felt like in August, when he was shut down for the remainder of the season.

"I had to say something,'' he said, "because I know what I'm worth to this team and I don't want to do anything stupid....I've cranked on this thing to a level where I thought I was in the clear. I thought this was all going to be behind us. I was very confident with everything that had led up to this point. Leading up to (Sunday's BP session), everything was great. I had hit every checkmark, stayed on top of everything and this was our first bump in the road.''

Time and again, Sale couldn't shake the feeling that he's let the Red Sox down in the aftermath of the deal he signed right before last season.

"That's my biggest issue,'' he said. "That's what makes it tough to sleep...I know the faith they've put in me - that's evident....with the contract. I couldn't possibly feel worse about any situation that I've ever felt in my entire life because of that. Plain and simple. I don't think I've ever let anybody down this hard, ever. And that sucks. Honestly, that sucks.

"Someone gives you something because they believe in you. They expect something from you and you don't live up to that. I have an expectation level. They put faith in me and I messed up. I'm not living up to that. That's what I battle with.''