The Quest for 7: Tom-nado wreaks havoc, Combine updates, Bergeron! Bergeron! Links 2.28.20

Morning! Welcome to The Quest for 7, where volunteer writer, Steven Viner, scours the net for seven Patriots related articles from other sites offering different points of view on the six-time champs. Paid subscribers not only get to read all seven, but they also get to check out his always fiery "Steve's Soapbox" at the end.

1. Now I can stop hyperventilating into a paper bag. Greg Bedard of Boston Sports Journal talks all of us TB12 fans off the ledge by letting us know to ignore the noise on Tom Brady and other Patriots combine thoughts. After nine hours, I think I'm ready to get off my therapist's couch.

2. Now that Bedard's column has us all thinking rationally, this next one makes complete sense. Tyler Sullivan of CBSSports reports that the new CBA may be the reason for lack of negotiations between Brady and the Patriots. If the result of the CBA drastically affects the contract New England can offer Brady, why not wait until after the vote to have "The Talk"?

3. BEWARE: This link features a download containing 768 pages of 2020 draft info from the staff at Pro Football Focus. Thanks you, Van, (one of my few readers) for sharing this draft gem! For a more detailed report from Boston Sports Journal's own Greg Bedard who's studying the combine closely, check out his NFL Scouting Combine Workouts, Day 1 - Tight ends in focus. Kmet impressed in this report. Hoping he's a poor-mans Gronk, and the Patriots trade down from 23 and take him.

4. Looks like Patriots' opposing offenses are waking up from their nightmare and realizing the Boogiemen no longer exist. Alex Barth of 98.5 The Sports Hub gives Patriots fans the hard truth that the team is set to choose between Kyle Van Noy and Jamie Collins. Regardless, we still have enough on D to make them check under their beds.

5. You'd think the Patriots' scouting staff would come marching in like the guards of Oz chanting, "Oo-Ee-Oo ... Eee-Oooo!" Turns out they're more like the Munchkins. Henry McKenna of Patriots Wire tells the tale of what Tee Higgins had to say about his interview with the Patriots. With Higgin's speed, can we get him a Lollipop Guild welcome to Foxboro Land?

6. Looks like Bobby Bag-O-Donuts and Vinny The Fish are up to their old tricks again. Dean Straka of 247 Sports hits up his bookie to get the updated odds from Vegas on where Brady will end up. I'll risk a visit from these two no-neck loan-sharks, and put my money on the Patriots.

7. They don't call us the greatest sports city in the world for nothing. Sean T. McGuire of NESN shares what the great Patrice Bergeron had to say when the subject of Brady came up and what it's like to play in Boston. Hopefully the Bruins and Celtics can rinse away the awful taste left behind by the Patriots early exit.

STEVE'S SOAPBOX

The place where Steve gets to give his take of the day from the perspective of a Patriots fan.

I have sad news for my 12 readers. This will likely be my final Quest. I feel like I'm letting you all down, but for a voluntary project, these take up quite a bit of time. Greg has offered for me to do the feature 1 or 2 days a week, which I will certainly consider. I could never thank him enough for giving me this amazing platform. I am truly going to miss writing this feature but most of all, I will miss you. Loved interacting with true, knowledgeable, rational, Patriots fans. Thank you all. Sincerely. (Fist-bump emoji) And now, my final Soapbox.

The rough times could be upon us. Everyone older than 35 knows them well. Brady might be leaving. Within the next five years, Belichick will likely call for a press conference with zero warning and announce his retirement before walking away from the podium refusing to take a single question. Like Sinatra, he'll do it "his way." Patriots fans might strike gold and find a franchise quarterback and competent coach immediately after the two G.O.A.T.s depart and contend, or even win another Super Bowl or two.

Or we could turn into 60% of the franchises out there ... a complete disaster for most years.

Whatever scenario, the "Blah" people Felger & Mazz love to talk about will be out in full force — except they will be Patriots Haters, who have been dying to blah you for 20 years now. Just remember ...

The final and forever score:

New England Patriots 1

Jealous Patriots Haters 0

The narrative for Belichick and Brady actually ended on February 5th, 2017. Date isn’t familiar? Here’s a hint: 28-3. On this night, the homeless-looking Hoodie and his scrawny 199th pick in the 2000 draft used the greatest comeback in sports history, (And yes it is, due to the stage it took place on) to win their fifth Super Bowl, surpassing Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, and Chuck Knoll. Stop the music. Sweep the floors. Turn out the lights. Party’s over. All of you jealous haters drive home safe now, where you're mommies await to rub your tooshie's.

Let’s take a final look at the G.O.A.T.s.

Bill Belichick:

Slice open Belichick’s chest, you won’t find a heart ... you’ll find a black abyss. Inject a needle, you won’t find blood ... you’ll find liquid nitrogen. Crack his skull, you won’t find a brain ... you’ll find a supercomputer.

Question: Name the sport — particularly in this day and age — where the coach’s message doesn’t grow stale after so many years, ultimately leading to said coach losing the locker room? You can’t. Happens in all of them. Just not to Belichick. Let Belichick know that it’s okay to have the occasional .500, or worse, losing season? One of his eye’s will turn red, a missile launcher will appear from his shoulder, and he will blow you to smithereens. Losing is not an option for this man. Worst record in the past two decades: 9-7 … once!

For all these years, the Hoodie has used logic, psychology, and strategy to keep the Patriots on top and his players vested. One of them strays out of bounds to do his own thing? Out comes that missile launcher to blow him away and clean out his locker with a single blast. What’s his secret? Yes, he has always had Tom Brady and the backing of great ownership. But you know what else he has? The ability to stay consistent, and to change with the times when need be. These traits are just as important as the X and O’s for long term success, and are foreign to the other coaches who couldn’t beat Belichick in chess if they had an army of queens, and he a single pond. Belichick clears his throat. “Where on the quarterback.”

Tom Brady:

I hear so many arguments that instantly eviscerate I.Q. points. I won’t get into all of them. But the one that cracks me up the most is, “Quarterbacks are over-protected now, and Brady wouldn’t last two seconds in the '70s.”

Laugh emoji. Laugh emoji. Laugh emoji. Wrong!

Don’t get me started on the fact that teams ran the ball way more back then. Pretty sure that makes a quarterback’s life easier to throw less than 40% of the time compared to the 60+% of today. But besides that, ever see the 2015-2016 AFC Championship game against Von Miller and the Denver Broncos? You know, the one where the Boston Sports Journal staff was assigned to protect TB12? (Greg Bedard, in particular, had a really rough day at left tackle.) Twenty times Brady was slammed to the turf. Twenty. Look it up Patriots Haters — that’s if you have the smarts to operate this internet thing — it’s a real stat. There is no such thing as a QB who has ever taken a beating like that … and Tom Balboa just kept getting up. You wanna talk toughness? Take away that one year where Brady got injured, and he shatters that Wrangler-jean-wearing, Copper Fit guy’s Ironman record. What’s his name? Ummm? Oh yeah. Brett Favre! (Forgot it on account of Mr. Gun Slinger winning only one Super Bowl.)

The Franchise:

The Patriots 2018 Super Bowl Championship — which tied them with the Steelers for the most in NFL history — solidified the Patriots as the G.O.A.T. franchise. Did I just hear a Patriots Hater ask, “Blahhhh. How are they the greatest if it’s tied?” Easy. The Steelers won four Super Bowls during the '70s, but they also used an atrocious amount of steroids. Sadly, 18 former Steelers’ have died of suspicious deaths since 2000, and many people question if heavy steroid use may have contributed in some way.

So, sorry. Cry all you want about videoing signals, like every team was doing, or deflating footballs, kind of like how Jerry Rice admitted to using stick-um, and the countless other players who confessed to tinkering with equipment for a slight edge. The Chargers’ towel scandal? Broncos’ shady salary cap? Etc. Etc. Etc. The Patriots don’t care if they’re the villain, just if they’re the greatest. They’re fine with being the evil Darth Vader, (The true greatest Star Wars character) and not the overrated whiny, Luke Skywalker.

Steroids are a legit advantage — like matching up a hundred-pound lightweight wrestling champ against Rob Gronkowski. It doesn’t matter that the Gronk-osaurus doesn’t know how to wrestle, he will use the lightweight champ like silly putty and spike him into the mat. On the line of scrimmage, you can’t out-wit that big of a strength advantage. Not to mention the increase in speed the juice brings.

Let’s go to the rational judges …

Referee grabs the Patriots’ wrist, and raises their arm in victory.

So when the Patriots Franchise won it's sixth championship and joined Belichick and Brady on the G.O.A.T. thrones, that was just yummy gravy to complete the feast fit for kings. It’s over. TB12 is shovel-patting the loose dirt above your team’s grave. Forget that cliché cherry on top. For Bah-ston people, dip that victory flavored ice cream in Jimmy’s, on your way to the Packy, after bowling a couple games of Candlepins. This dynasty is immortal. Everlasting. A Twinkie. It will end, but it will live forever. You know why? Open up, losers. You’ll cringe. You’ll squirm. But take your medicine and read these words carefully:

THIS … WILL … NEVER … BE … DONE … AGAIN!

Sorry. Not by your team. Not by your other buddy’s team who you also hate, or any of the other 31 NFL teams. Ever! Spell it Jets fans! It is: O … V … E … R! Over! Over! OVER! Just like this Patriots dynasty might be. But you know what else is over? the argument of who is the greatest franchise, coach, and football player of all time.

Poor Patriots Haters. They’re wearing saggy diapers that leak. Good thing their mommies are a short walk upstairs to change them. Take care everyone, and Go Pats!

Want extra Salty Tears and Soapbox? Click on my name above and scroll down for previous Quests! Want easy access to the best Patriots' links, check out my friend Marima at Pats Pulpit!