Picks 'n Pops: Mazzulla's extension, a mild-mannered star, and a big birthday

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because I'm struggling to cope with the end of the Sex and The City reboot. Will Carrie get the happy ending she deserves? Ugh I can be such a Charlotte sometimes. 

- The Celtics have signed Joe Mazzulla to a multi-year contract extension. It’s a tough blow for all the commenters who have been begging for Mazzulla to be fired. I’d like to think that's going to stop now that he’s been extended, but somehow I doubt that. 

Under normal circumstances, a local kid thrust into the spotlight who won a championship in his second season would be celebrated as a sports hero. But the Celtics shoot a lot of 3-pointers, which we all know negates everything, including Derrick White saying “I love Joe Mazzulla so much,” or Jayson Tatum saying “I love Joe to death.” 

It’s no secret that I think Mazzulla is good at what he does. Is he the best at it? Not yet. But as I always do at times like this, I remind everyone that there were calls to fire Erik Spoelstra at the beginning of his career and that he was derided for just being a shepherd of talent. I don’t know if Mazzulla will reach that level, but I can see the path. 

And while the Celtics do, in fact, take the 3-point shooting too far in some games, they generally do find a good balance. Outlier games aren’t proof of your point. 

This season will be very interesting from a coaching perspective. It will certainly be a challenge for Mazzulla, and I’m very interested in how he’s going to handle it. But no matter how it goes, he’s sticking around for a while. 

- It’s time to play “guess what the story with the ridiculous headline is actually about.” Here’s the headline: “Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla just made a brilliant move no one saw coming.”

The answer further down the page. 

- The first phase of the Celtics sale is expected to be finally approved in the next couple of weeks. 

This whole process has been weird from the beginning. From the questions about financing to the long approval process, none of this seems to have gone smoothly.

Why wasn’t the deal approved at the Board of Governors meeting in Las Vegas as originally planned? The only reason for it not to be on the docket with all the other league business is that the deal wasn’t ready. And if the deal still wasn’t ready. And while there's no real need to get the deal done by a certain date, I am uncomfortable with all the delays. 

It’s like someone saying they’ll pay you the money they owe you in two weeks, then you find out they're asking everyone in town to help chip in, and then you get your money five weeks later. You’ll end up getting your money, but you don’t feel good about that person’s situation.

- Back by popular demand, it's TRADED PLAYER EXCEPTION TALK!! That's right, folks, Brad Stevens wheelin’ and dealin’ has given the Celtics not one, not TWO, BUT THREE TPE’s that he’ll be able to use*, including a monster $22.5 million slot created by trading Kristaps Porzingis. The other two are worth $4 and $4.7 million. 

For those who don’t remember how the TPE works, here’s a very oversimplified explainer: Think of it as going to a car dealership and trading in your car, only you don’t buy another car at that point. Instead, they give you a voucher for $22,500. You have one year to use that voucher, AND you can use it at any dealer for any car worth $22,500 or less. 

You can ONLY use the voucher to get the new car. You can’t use the voucher and cash. You can’t use the voucher and another car. If you want to use the voucher, you can ONLY use the voucher. The vouchers also can’t be combined. You can’t throw down three vouchers and get a $30,000 car, but you can use the voucher to get two $11,000 cars if you want. 

*There are a lot of limitations in terms of sign-and-trades and taking back more money than they send out, both of which would hard cap them at the first apron. Most TPEs go unused.

- A Western Conference scout to ESPN’s Tim Bontemps on building a winner in this new CBA: “You have to be right on every decision … You literally can’t mess anything up.” 

Mistakes are so magnified in this new NBA world. You just can’t whiff on a big signing or trade. I wonder if contracts are going to start getting shorter as this CBA gets older. The first-team All-NBA guys will get their five-year max deals, but the next tier guys, the Jaylen Browns of the world, might have to decide between max money or longer contracts. 

So teams might say, “you either get 30% of the cap for five years or 35% for three” and players will have to make a choice. 

- Payton Pritchard is the betting favorite to repeat as Sixth Man of the Year, and I think he will. He has to stay on the bench so he can sub in for White, which would let the Celtics stagger White and Brown to keep one of them on the floor at all times. He’ll get plenty of shots, so he’ll score plenty of points to earn the award. 

- “Pro-Am P” scored 68 points in the Ball Don’t Stop Pro-Am. But it happened in Canada, so it was only 49 U.S. points. 

- Speaking of doing well against lesser competition, Neemias Queta is playing well so far in Eurobasket tune-ups. 

- The WNBA needs to get out of the way and let a good thing happen. Steve Pagliuca is ready to set a record price for a franchise ($325 million) and commit $100 million to a practice facility if the Connecticut Sun move to Boston. 

Congratulations, WNBA, a massive deal that sets a new price for teams and modernizes one of your poorest franchises has fallen into your lap. Now the owners who got in on the ground floor can cash out, big spending owners who are priced out of the NBA can step in, and the league can take bigger steps forward. 

That is, unless you want to get in the way, stop a good thing from happening, and push Pagliuca aside. The league seems to have some sort of issue with the Sun moving to Boston in a couple of seasons and I don’t know why. 

Don’t be stupid about this. Take the gift. 

- Signing Chris Boucher means we can forget about Charles Bassey. Brad Stevens never really seemed that into the idea of bringing Bassey into camp, despite Boston’s need for a big and all of our clamoring to give him a shot. Bassey is still unsigned and, unsuprisingly, wants to stay in the NBA. There are strong international offers for him, though, so I would expect him to take one of those. 

- Derrick White says Jayson Tatum won’t respect him until he gets a technical foul.

I like keeping DWhite tech free. It’s like a rapper who only rhymes clean but still makes bangers. I don’t want to sully that. Tatum gets enough techs for everyone. 

- While we’re here, Tatum shouldn’t be pretending that he’s some hardcore, Draymond Green-type who gets a million techs because he’s up in everyone’s face. I think 90% of his techs are those stupid wave-off gestures. Those shouldn’t be techs anyway. 

- This is where I sneak a little factoid in about my only career technical foul being for hanging on the rim. I don't know if that's a humblebrag or just being a douchebag. 

- Providence Mayor Brett Smiley probably thinks I'm the latter after I confused him for Amica CEO Ted Shallcross at yesterday's Celtics community event. In my defense, both those guys clearly came off the same assembly line. 

- The answer to the headline: Joe Mazzulla visited Patriots training camp. That's the brilliant move no one saw coming. Never mind the few times he’s already visited Patriots camp in the past. Forget how often these coaches interact, including when Mike Vrabel visited the Celtics. NO ONE saw this coming, you understand me?

- Vrabel’s face was bloodied trying to stop a fight at practice. Mazzulla face is much more likely to be bloodied as he tries to start a fight at practice. 

- Trae Young is upset that the Hawks haven't offered him a max extension yet. Young is not a max player. Giving him the max would be suicide for the franchise. 

He thinks he’s a max player, though, which means this will end badly in Atlanta. 

To be clear, it will end well for the Hawks because they will get rid of Trae Young. But it will be a drama-filled, petty process. 

- Things are falling apart for Malik Beasley. Instead of signing a three-year, $42 million contract to stay with Detroit, Beasley remains under investigation for gambling and manipulating prop bets, and now he’s been evicted for failing to pay his rent. 

Beasley has made $60 million over his career, which, after all the taxes and stuff, probably works out to be about $25-$30 million in his pocket (players tent to take home about half of the number you see, depending on where they live). 

He shouldn’t be having money problems, but we’ve seen it a million times. There's always a cautionary tale out there. 

- Bob Cousy turns 97 this week. He joined the Celtics in the fifth year of their existence and the second year of the NBA’s existence (Boston played three years in the BAA, the NBA’s predecessor). There are no other words needed. Making it to 97 is enough for me to declare Cousy is having the Best Week Ever! 

We love ya, Cooz!

- This week’s AI-generated image, watching Jayson Tatum walk has become a big thing in Boston. He should charge admission at this point. 

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored.