Picks 'n Pops: A mysterious owner, Celtics culture, and food poisoning

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because my $6.1 billion offer for the Celtics was rejected when they wouldn't take my payment plan of $600 a month for 850,000 years. 

- Bill Chisholm's initial media blitz was incredibly smart. First impressions are critical in situations like this, and he made a great one with quotes like this one to ESPN: 

“This process to buy the team started just under 50 years ago when I had my 7th birthday and attended a game at the old Boston Garden," Chisholm told Charania. "I was hooked ever since. I've been a rabid fan ever since. I bleed green. I love the Celtics. When this opportunity came up, I couldn't pass it up. Wyc has done an incredible job running this franchise. So why would you mess that up? The team is in a great place right now, and I'm very sensitive to that. Wyc, Brad [Stevens], and Joe [Mazzulla] have done amazing jobs and that's all goodness that we want to continue."

Or this one to the Boston Globe: 

“I’m all about winning championships and raising banners, and doing that now, and also doing it over the long term,” Chisholm said in an interview with the Globe on Thursday. “I think [lead governor Wyc Grousbeck] has done an incredible job of balancing that, and I think that’s the path we’re on and that’s the path we should stay on.”

This is all red meat for Celtics fans. He isn’t even officially the owner yet and he’s getting fans on his side. We have no clue what his actions will be, but he’s saying the right things and that's all that matters when a new owner is introducing himself to the fan base. 

- The second apron might force the Celtics to make changes no matter what Chisolm says. 

- I find it weird that Chisolm’s net worth can’t be found anywhere and he seems to be a mystery man among the rich, “buy an iconic sports franchise out of nowhere” types.

“We bought a company from (Symphony), that’s how I know him. It still doesn’t add up. If he had billions, we’d know about him, or they would have a bigger fund at least,” one Silicon Valley private equity executive told the New York Post. 

All that matters is that his bid passes muster, and that seems to be the case. 

- The more Joe Mazzulla mumbles during an answer to a question, the more he hates answering the question. 

- Jaylen Brown is sitting out the Utah game. He’ll ultimately get a week off by missing just two games, which is really smart injury management by him and the team. He needs to play nine of the remaining 13 games to qualify for postseason awards, so there's still some wiggle room within the remaining schedule to get him even more rest. 

- The Celtics sale means expansion talk will heat up. Also, one of Memphis, New Orleans, or maybe Minnesota will have to join the Eastern Conference. 

- The $6.1 billion valuation for the Celtics is a record, but it actually won’t be the final price. They sold 51% of the team now, and 49% will close in a few years at whatever valuation the team is at then. So the actual sale price when the process ends will be higher than the number we’re hearing right now. 

- I’m pleasantly surprised by Celtics City. It’s very well done. 

- We’ve heard about Heat Culture ad nauseam because they work hard and they get a lot out of late-round, second-round, or undrafted guys. 

How about what Boston is doing? Luke Kornet and Sam Hauser are undrafted. Derrick White was a 29th-overall pick who was good in San Antonio but has become indispensable here. Payton Pritchard was picked 26th and is about to become Sixth Man of the Year. Baylor Scheierman was drafted 30th and is now having success. 

That's half of Boston’s regular rotation and a guy successfully stepping into a void late in a rookie season spent almost entirely in the G League. I think it’s safe to say all of these guys have maxed out their abilities with the Celtics, which can’t be a coincidence. 

- Don’t look now, but the New York Knicks have lost six of their last nine games as Jalen Brunson sits with an ankle injury. The Pacers are just three games behind them for the third seed. 

That would put the Pacers in line to potentially face the Celtics in the second round. We all know how much trouble they have given Boston in the past, so you should probably become a Knicks fan for the next couple of weeks. 

Also, I’d like a year off from going to Indianapolis for the playoffs. At this rate I might as well buy a place there. 

- This is one hell of a block:

- I honestly can’t believe Alex Ovechkin is going to break Wayne Gretzky’s record. 

- “Coach Nannie,” the 88-year-old Celtics superfan, got to her first-ever Celtics game this week. 

I got a chance to meet her and she was so happy about being there. And the Celtics couldn't have been nicer to her. This was so cool to see.  

- I hope Marcus Smart gets into coaching when his playing career is over. 

- Tom Thibodeau and Josh Hart putting on a show for lip readers.

- RIP Slick Watts. 

- I think Scheierman’s emergence means the Celtics can be more patient with Jordan Walsh and hope he develops a consistent jumper and more controlled game over the summer and next season. 

- Draymond Green shot 14 3-pointers last night. Some people say the Raptors were happy about that. I wonder how they could tell. 

Darko Rajaković laughing and telling Green to “keep shooting” is hilarious because Draymond happily obliged. He hit five of them, but Steph Curry was only 2-4 before leaving in the fourth after a hard fall. The Raptors almost beat the Warriors and showed the blueprint for why I don’t believe in the Warriors in the playoffs. Yes, they’ve been better since Jimmy Butler arrived, and Butler might have saved the game with his defense last night, but a better opponent executing that strategy will have more success. 

- Curry getting hurt is the worst-case scenario for Golden State. They could go from a decent path in a playoff run to the play-in and a date with the OKC Thunder in the first round. 

- Tracy Morgan said food poisoning caused him to vomit during the Knicks-Heat game, causing a long delay this week. He didn’t have to come up with an excuse like that, though. He could have just said he was watching the Knicks-Heat game and everyone would have understood.

- The Sixers shut Paul George down for the season. The nickname “Top Sixers” for them, because it looks like they're going to keep their top-six protected pick this season, is incredible. That needs more play. 

And may I say, what a wonderful ode to the process as Joel Embiid’s career starts to wind down. One more good ol’ tank while he sits out with an injury for old time’s sake. I’m glad they're embracing their history. 

- Best of luck to Paul Connolly, who stepped down as Newton North head coach this week after 456 wins over 24 seasons. I got to know Paul when he was an assistant at Emerson College, and there is no one more passionate about the game than him. Congratulations on an amazing run. 

- Today’s AI-generated image: Bill Chisholm shows up to pay for the team. 

- Boston Basketball Partners LLC bought the Celtics for $360 million and now 51% of the team at a $6.1 billion valuation … with more coming down the road. For making about a 1,600% profit on their purchase, and with Wyc Grousbeck still being able to stick around to run things for a few more seasons, I’d say Irv and Wyc Grousbeck are having the best week ever. 

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored.