Picks 'n Pops: Christmas wishes, the 3-point debate, and a ref I WOULD pay to see

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because I'm still trying to figure out how Dorothy's dream in The Wizard of Oz has an origin story.

- What’s with Joe Mazzulla having to be held back after every tech he gets? Is he that much of a threat to himself and others? Or is it for dramatic effect? 

- He was held back at the end of the game when he hurled some very strong words in the direction of the officials before walking off. 

What did he say? 

“I just hadn't seen them in a while, so just a Merry Christmas, happy holidays. I wasn't sure I was going to see them before the holiday, and I just can't let a moment go by to where you wish someone just the best to them and theirs and their families.”

What a guy. Here’s Kristaps Porzingis’ take on it: 

“It was just a heated moment. Joe's a passionate guy. Fights for his team. He's willing to get a tech for us. Probably felt like there were some not-so-great calls tonight. It happens. Joe's a passionate guy."

- Jaylen Brown had a lot to say after someone tried to break into his mother’s house. Among them was this: 

"It's been a tough week. Obviously, my mother's security is the utmost importance to me, and that's been compromised, and so it's been a tough week. We've had, you know, media members and reporters outside our house trying to get an inside scoop. Like, have some respect. It's been a tough week. I'm not gonna lie."

Brown isn’t a big fan of the media in general, but I can tell you as someone with nearly 20 years of experience in television news that those reporters are way worse than any of the sports writers. TV reporters are on the tightest deadlines and the most pressure to produce multiple compelling products in a short time. They have no time for tact. They are like seagulls fighting over a french fry if a neighbor comes out of the house when they're around. 

My mental health improved immensely when I got out of local television news. I completely understand what Brown is talking about and I don’t blame him for being upset at all.

- I know how I’d react if I were in Brown’s shoes, and let me tell whoever tried to break in that a second attempt would be unwise. If I had Brown’s means, I’d make it so you need a retina scan to turn onto the street. The house would turn into a Rottweiler sanctuary with very specific training. I’m hiring full-time ninjas to live on the roof. By the time I’m done, the US Government will be renting out my house to store nuclear launch codes. 

- I kind of feel bad for Jaden Springer, who got the early call last night. His minutes would have made for a nice story had the game not had so many subplots. He didn’t play great, but I think he showed his defensive value. 

- Jayson Tatum needs to stop waving off refs. He gets a tech every time. I don’t care if the techs are weak or if others get away with the wave-off, they ALWAYS call it on Tatum. 

- Tatum is fourth in the latest ESPN MVP straw poll. He has no first-place votes and three second-place votes. Let’s face it, he’s not going to win MVP on this kind of stacked team. He needs to be on a crappy team and putting up God-like numbers like Nikola Jokic. 

- The “too many 3s” debate is getting tiresome for me because I’m not even sure people understand what they're fighting against anymore. People think we’re not getting points in the paint because people shoot too many 3-pointers when the opposite is true. The Memphis Grizzlies lead the NBA with 58.6 points in the paint per game. Ten years ago, they led the league with 46.6 per game. 

I’m going to say this as loudly as I possibly can:

PAINT POINTS ARE UNTOUCHED BY THE INCREASE IN 3-POINTERS!!

What has gone away are the long 2-pointers. Those are the shots that have gone behind the arc. League average 2-point shooting is at 54%, up eight points from 10 years ago. That's because the inefficient long 2-pointers are gone. 

I’m not saying all of this to say you should like the style of play. But I’m telling you with all the certainty in my body that eliminating 3-pointers will only push the long 2-pointers back into existence. That's all it will accomplish. 

- Of course, I have advocated for eliminating corner 3-pointers. I do not like giving the shorter shot as much weight as the above-the-break 3. But I do see the argument for what it would do to spacing. So here’s my compromise: 3-point corner SPOTS. Two little circles in each corner where a player can still get 3 points, but only in those spots. 

Or maybe we just do 3-point spots all over the floor without the line? That means there are spots at that distance where it’s NOT 3-points, so players have to be in more precise places on the floor to get the benefit. 

It solves the problem of guys just running up and indiscriminately firing because they have to hit certain marks. HOWEVER, the spots still need to be defended, so the spacing isn’t impacted. 

Is this an answer?

- No one pays to see the officials. But I might pay to see Bill Kennedy announce every review result. 

- Woody Johnson nixing New York Jets trades because of a player’s Madden score is one of the most egregious forms of sporting malpractice I’ve ever seen. Every Jets fan should spend the whole game Sunday chanting “sell the team.” 

Imagine Wyc Grousbeck saying no to the Derrick White trade because his 2K score was bad? I’d light the torches and pay for the pitchforks myself. 

- The Charlotte Hornets pretended to give a kid a PlayStation 5 and then took it away when he left the floor, giving him a jersey instead. They had to be cyberbullied to give him the video game system. 

Put these last two items in the “be thankful you’re a Celtics fan” category. 

- No, seriously ... Dorothy got whacked in the head during a tornado in Kansas and had a concussion-fueled dream about witches, talking inanimate objects, and a scam artist, all of which were based on her neighbors. How does THAT get an origin story? Dreams are just dreams. There's no prequel to them, just childhood trauma manifesting itself in one's subconscious. 

- I apparently decided I haven't been using my CAPS button enough this week.

- Happy Birthday Kevin McHale, the NBA player who is most responsible for my success in this business. Studying his game is how I got good at it in high school. I loved playing in the post. I do miss it and I’d love to see it back in the game somehow, some day, only because there's so much skill involved in doing it right. 

- The Celtics are FINALLY getting back into the normal rhythm of the season. After three games in 12 days for a team already devoid of any drama, deviations from their usual style of play, or the threat of player movement, there is finally actual basketball to discuss. 

So for not having to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find things to talk about with this team anymore, I’m declaring … ME! … to be having the Best Week Ever!

- This week’s Bing AI-generated image: With all the time off, I’m surprised the Celtics remembered to put on their uniforms last night. 

I’ll be honest, I’m at the age where running errands in a robe and slippers is about to start happening. It’s amazing how fast your Give A F meter starts draining after 50. 

- Your current NBA Belt champion… THE UTAH JAZZ!! 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... YOUR WINNERS... AND NEWWWWW NBA BELT CHAMPIONS... THE UTAHHHH JAAAAAAAAZZ

Utah stormed out to a 30 point lead and held on the rest of the way. Collin Sexton had 30, Keyonte George 28, Lauri Markkanen 27. The Brooklyn Nets get a title shot tomorrow night pic.twitter.com/WKrncaavn4

— The NBABelt (@TheNBABelt) December 20, 2024

I love when bad teams have the belt. This thing is going to start whipping around the league now. 

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored.