Picks 'n Pops: Playing fast, Schadenfreude, and marriage-killing movies

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because I'm looking the other way on people blaming their hangovers on the turkey.

- Luke Kornet is the only Celtic on the injury report tonight, listed as probable. That makes the Bulls game, potentially, the first fully healthy game of the Celtics season.

- We’ll know by game time if the Celtics just need to win the game, or win it by a million to advance to the knockout round of the NBA Cup. 

Yes, this is me trying to convince myself to care. 

- The complete list of Celtics who have taken more 2-pointers than 3-pointers: 

• Kornet

• Jaden Springer

• Neemias Queta

• Jaylen Brown 

- How the hell did Jae Crowder make it back into the league before Lonnie Walker?

- I asked Queta about chasing blocked shots and learning to stay home to avoid giving up offensive rebounds. 

"Yeah, that comes with me. I feel like I can get every shot. Being a shot blocker, being a rim protector -- I feel like that's my job. Make sure the rim is protected at all costs. Obviously with that end, sometimes I'll be out of position. It's been an emphasis the whole year. I'm getting better at it. Liking the progress."

I thought he did a much better job at this against the Clippers. The fact is chasing blocks at every other level of basketball probably worked out fine for him. He has to learn that NBA teammates are different. When a play is defended by Derrick White or Jrue Holiday, it’s covered. The percentages turn in the team’s favor at that point, so play to those and just get into position for the rebound. 

- Kristaps Porzingis walking into warmups 10 minutes later than everyone else while sipping on a coffee is just about the most European thing he could have done. All that was missing was the Kappa tracksuit and one final drag off a cigarette before flicking it away in the tunnel. 

What a tribute that would have been to Dino Radja. 

- Joe Mazzulla explains playing fast: 

“It’s not playing fast just running up and down. It’s playing fast, getting to your spacing fast, seeing the advantage fast, seeing the coverage fast, getting to your action as fast as you can. So, pace is an overused term. We want to do that, but we also want to get to what we want to get to as fast as we can. You can’t chart how quickly you get to your spacing. Last game (against) the Clippers, our average start of possession was at 18 (seconds). On the season, it’s like 17.8. So that’s kind of right where we want to go. Can we get quicker things when we get to our spacing? Yes. Can we see advantages with that? Yeah.”

So yeah, it’s clearing rebounds and running, but it’s also getting into a set right away, even if the ball is walked up the floor. I don’t begrudge a team catching their breath for a few seconds, but once the ball is over half court it’s time to get moving. That's still playing fast. 

- The Philadelphia 76ers are 3-14. Only the Wizards have fewer wins. Couldn't happen to a better franchise. 

- I’m not counting anyone out before Christmas, but the Sixers are already teetering on the edge of being out of it. They are six games out of the fifth seed, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. They can make that up over 65 games. There are two problems with that: 1) they need to actually win games and 2) they need someone to lose. 

Right now, the best chance of that happening is the Nets trading away pieces that are making them too good right now. Maybe the Hawks or Bulls go on a losing streak. Those are all play-in teams. So if the Sixers do sneak into the playoffs, they could be a first-round matchup for Boston.

- The Celtics seem to be picking up where Bill Belichick and the Patriots left off in every way possible. 

- Derrick White should be everyone’s favorite player.

- Anthony Edwards is going through it right now in Minnesota. 

“I think it’s we soft as (heck) as a team, internally,” Edwards said after their loss to the Kings that dropped them to 8-10. “Not to the other team, but internally, we soft. We can’t talk to each other. Just a bunch of little kids. Just like we playing with a bunch of little kids. Everybody, the whole team. We just can’t talk to each other. And we’ve got to figure it out, because we can’t go down this road.”

The Timberwolves were booed after the loss, which he didn’t like.

“The fans (are) booing us,” said Edwards, whose team is 8-10 heading into Friday’s game against the Los Angeles Clippers. “That (stuff) is crazy, man. We’re getting booed in our home arena. That’s so (freaking) disrespectful, it’s crazy.”

The words in parentheses replaced some more colorful language. 

So, on one hand, good for him for holding his team accountable. On the other, lashing out at the fans is a bad move. He has to own it. Fans don’t boo the home team just for fun (well, except for in Philadelphia). 

The Wolves were a popular pick to come out of the west. Unlike the Sixers, they're capable of stringing a big winning streak together. If the fans are booing, that's the team’s cue to play better, not be mad because the people paying to watch are pissed off at the product. The basketball being played is what’s disrespectful, not the fans booing. 

- Congrats to Vito the Pug for winning the National Dog Show. It was cool to see people gathered at a venue in Philadelphia and see something cool happen for a change. 

- The Hawks were fined for resting Trae Young during their cup game with Boston. It’s the first-ever NBA fine for a team trying to win a game. 

- This full-court tip by Nikola Jokic had no business having a chance at going in. 

It’s being called the best missed shot in NBA history and I can’t argue. He actually got the distance perfectly right. If that was literally one foot to the right, it would have been a swish. I don’t know how he got that kind of power behind it or how he judged it as well as he did. 

It makes no sense, which is a very common thing to say about something Jokic did on the floor. 

- Payton Pritchard’s contract is one of the best in the NBA. 

- I was always afraid Zion Williamson would struggle in the NBA because his body isn’t built for 82 games of how he plays. He’s one of the biggest freak athletes we’ve ever seen, and he was always able to get away with being his size at lower levels because games were shorter, competition was lesser, and there were longer breaks between games. 

The NBA is an entirely different beast, and Zion has never been able to adjust his game, or his brain, to make it through a full season. The Pelicans thought Williamson and Brandon Ingram would be a powerful 1-2 punch, but neither has been healthy enough physically or mentally to make that work. Both could be on their way out soon, and the Pels are going to have to start over again. 

- The first thing a candidate for the Chicago Bears job should do is point to his watch and say “I can tell time.” 

- Wicked is two hours and 40 minutes long. That's a marriage-killing length for a movie like Wicked. Husbands everywhere are going to give in and go with their wives to this thing and either (a) fall asleep, (b) start complaining halfway through the movie, or (c) walk out. 

The movie might as well have been produced by the Law office of James Sexton. 

- This just gave me a business idea: A movie theater/cannabis dispensary. 

“Sharks, what if I told you I could make every comedy 100% funnier….”

- Online Black Friday shopping is dangerous. I’m buying more for myself than I am for other people. This is like the old Looney Tunes gag

“One for you ... one for me. Two for you … one, two for me. Three for you … one, two, three for me.” 

- Your current NBA Belt champions … still the Celtics. 

- This week’s Bing AI-generated image: The Schadenfreude is strong right now

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored.