The Celtics are for sale. That much we know. From there, it’s a bunch of guessing and trying to read tea leaves.
I believe the new owners are already in Boston and these months are part of them getting their ducks in a row. However, the Grousbeck family has retained two financial firms to help them with the sale, and now rumors have surfaced that Amazon overlord Jeff Bezos is interested in buying.
It makes sense. He’s one of the few people who can do it alone. Sports team ownership is a vanity play and what better way to win an extremity-measuring contest among the Illuminati than to be a solo franchise owner in this economy? Oh, and he recently cashed out $6 billion in Amazon stock.
There is a report that the rumor isn’t true and the stock sale is just a coincidence, which it might be. Or maybe it’s a misdirection based on semantics.
The sale of the Celtics is a lot more complicated than people realize. The league certainly wants a nice, clean process during which the team is valued highly enough that they use it as a comp, Million Dollar Listing-style, to help sell their two expansion franchises at $6 billion apiece. The league can certainly just set the price and say that's the cost of doing business, but a recent sale is a nice hammer to have in your toolbox.
However, there are factors working against that, and expansion is one of them.
The Celtics are a legacy franchise, which is sort of like buying a building tagged as a historical landmark. Sure, it’s a glamorous purchase and its long, special history makes it a conversation piece. People admire your home from afar and want to know more about what it’s like to live inside.
At the same time, every renovation has to go through a process. The government has to approve everything you do so as to preserve the history. It’s yours, but it’s also not fully yours.
The Celtics do things a certain way, and someone like Bezos likes to do things his own way. He can’t come in and, say, change the floor because he doesn’t like how the parquet looks. He can’t throw garish Amazon logos all over the place without hearing how he’s ruining things. And he wouldn’t own the building, so he couldn't even change the surroundings to his liking.
A new owner can try to build a new arena, but that comes with its own set of huge problems. Bob Kraft tried to do that twice, once with the Patriots and then with the Revolution and he couldn't get any traction on a project. The most recent attempt, which would have put a 25,000-seat stadium near the Encore casino in Everett, died after legislation stalled for years.
If the Krafts can’t make it happen, I don’t know how an outsider can.
Buying the Celtics means being handed an artifact of sorts. You are more caretaker than you are owner, and that's how people around here want it.
But a guy like Bezos wants things his way. He didn’t grow a net worth of nearly $200 billion by giving in to laws, rules, and the whims of others. He wants things his way.
He’s just like all of us who shop on his site. We put something in our carts and if it takes two weeks and $15 to deliver, we dump it for something similar that can be dropped off free in two days.
So why on earth would Bezos or a Bezos type want in on the Celtics business at all? Yes, this is a legacy franchise with fans around the world, but what good is that if he can’t put his own stamp on things?
No, he wants new construction. And with two expansion franchises about to go up for sale, why not take that $6 billion and start fresh?
If Bezos got in on a franchise in Seattle or Las Vegas, he could pick everything out himself. From the size and shape of the building to the team colors, Bezos can be in on every little decision, turning that team into an extension of himself.
And if for some reason, after however many years in that city, if things aren’t working out, can do something that would never be allowed in Boston.
He could move the team.
I’m not sure folks in Seattle would want to consider that possibility, but all options need to be on the table for someone used to getting his way. And knowing the city of Boston the way we do, things would not go his way all the time. Our “you think you’re better than us?” gene would take hold and make his life hell.
Seattle is desperate to get their team back. Las Vegas makes so many deals with the devil, he gets his own parking spot at all the good casinos.
Boston is a different animal. It’s not built for a Bezos type. That's why I don’t believe the hype. When it comes to buying a team, the Celtics are a tough sell for someone like him.