Picks 'n Pops: Parade beer bombs, NIL changing the draft, and first pitches

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because I drank a beer Sam Hauser threw me at the parade and I’m not feeling so hot.

- So you mean to tell me that the team that has known it has the first overall pick since the middle of May needs to go on the clock for five more minutes at the start of the draft? Six weeks wasn’t enough time to make up your minds?

- Brad Stevens on Kristaps Porzingis’ ankle surgery: “Surgery went great … There's no question we're better when he's on the floor. And so, get him back, get him fully healthy, and get him ready to go, and let him do his little WWE entrance in the Garden whenever that time comes. And maybe we'll need a jolt in December whenever that is and then that'll be a good little evening.”

His first game back needs to be a home game just so we can get a full Goldberg entrance 

- Stevens had this insight into college NIL money impacting the draft: 

“The advancement of NIL and how out of control that's gotten has really impacted the late 40s and 50s and post-draft and all that type of stuff because there's a lot of people that went back that probably would be in that mix, but they just got huge paydays. They got more than two-way (contracts). So that's kind of the world that we're living in now a little bit. I think that will be where the draft might be most impacted consistently over the next few years.”

I think Brad is lamenting the chance to hit on a diamond in the rough late in the draft because NIL makes that much more unlikely. The kids with some talent who might take a two-way and thrive are going back to school, so it’s tougher to find that one with the insane drive to emerge from the end of the draft. 

That hurts NBA teams, for sure. 

I say congrats to kids in the late second round for getting money while being able to stick around in school and maybe improve their draft stock. I would rather see them go back to school, work on some things, and then come out and maybe rise to a higher second-round or late first-round pick. 

Baylor Scheierman is a good example of what’s possible. He worked out for Boston after three years at SD State and wasn’t ready. He got two years at Creighton, worked on things, and became the 30th pick. 

I want what’s best for the players, and just tossing them all into the machine like oranges into a juicer doesn’t sit well with me. Sorry if it makes the job tougher for people running great teams, but if a few kids can make some money off their basketball skills and improve their chances at sticking in the NBA in the process, then I’m all for it. 

- One thing I learned from the Celtics throwing out six first pitches at Fenway is that elite athleticism does not necessarily translate across sports. 

Another thing I learned is that Porzingis has probably never thrown a baseball in his life. That thing must have felt like a marble in his hands. I swear he nearly suffered 14 new injuries on the wind up alone.

Also, I’m going to give these guys a little bit of a pass. Their blood alcohol levels probably looked like a few of the batting averages in the game, so I shouldn’t judge. 

- If there's anyone who should know when a draft night trade has been made, it’s the people analyzing the picks on television. What is the point of me listening to people talk about a guy’s fit on a team when I saw on Twitter five minutes ago that he’s being traded somewhere else? Is it so difficult to put have a producer whose job is strictly to watch Twitter for trade news? 

- Here’s your summer league Celtics schedule, just so you can plan your overreactions now

• Sat, 7/13 vs Miami, 6:30 PM, NBA TV

• Mon 7/15  vs L.A. Lakers 10:30 PM, NBA TV

• Wed 7/17 vs Charlotte 5:30 PM, NBA TV

• Fri 7/19 vs. Dallas 4:30 PM, ESPNU

Here are the rules: 

Each team will play at least five games, including four games from July 12-19.  After each team’s first four games, the top four teams will advance to participate in the playoffs, beginning with a semifinal doubleheader on Sunday, July 21 at 2 p.m. ET and 4 p.m. ET on ESPN.  The two winning teams from the semifinal games will meet in the championship game on Monday, July 22 at 9 p.m. ET on ESPN.

The four playoff teams will be determined by winning percentage in each team’s first four games. The 26 teams that do not advance to the four-team playoff will play a fifth game on either Saturday, July 20 or Sunday, July 21.

Here are the jokes/snide comments:

• The NBA Finals rematch on the 19th is going to be ELECTRIC!

• Start getting mad at me now for telling you what you’re seeing is fake. Remember when Mfiondu Kabengele was the big summer league breakout player? He’s now playing for Venezia of the Italian Lega Basket Serie A and the EuroCup. 

• I don’t care how you dress it up, making me stay up for a 10:30 start to watch a summer league game is ridiculous. 

• Actually, summer league success is fake. Good players are supposed to be good in summer league. Summer league failures are concerning.

- Hauser puked into a cooler during the parade, and then some of the beers in that cooler ended up going into the crowd. 

That's a flagrant party foul penalty 2. 

Maybe I’m a lot more comfortable with Baylor Scheierman coming in to replace Hauser now than I was before hearing that story. 

- Hauser redeems himself with a little with the “where did your shirt go?” … “I don’t know” exchange with Oshae Brissett

- I don’t know what kind of player Bronny James is going to be, but it’s still cool to see a dad and son on the same team. They’ll actually share the court during a preseason game. I don’t care what anyone thinks of LeBron James or the Lakers in that moment, watching LeBron going up to set a screen for his son will be fun. You can go back to hating them after that. 

- I’m very curious to see how JJ Redick does. I’m looking forward to his podcasts about the experience after he gets fired. There's a part of me that thinks he's doing this just for the content.

- Trading for Mikal Bridges makes New York better, but he’d better become an All-Star for them or else that team isn’t going to do what they think they can do. 

- I know I’m rapidly advancing in age, but everyone getting picked at the NBA draft looked 15. AJ Johnson looks like Al Horford’s son sat on top of another kid’s shoulders, put on an adult suit, and crashed the draft. 

Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Here’s today’s Bing AI-Generated image: Let’s put the snow plows to good use and clean up AS we’re celebrating next time. 

Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored: