Picks 'n Pops: Mystery viruses, embarrassing analysis, and Hall of Fame buzzer-beater

Every week I gather some thoughts about the Celtics, the NBA, and beyond and dump them here. Because I had to pass the time somehow while firefighters put the plane out.

- Shams Charania said of Kristaps Porzingis and the Celtics, “they don’t quite know when he’s going to return. And honestly, they don’t know quite know what exactly has led to this viral illness. They’re still trying to get to the bottom of what exactly this is. But I am told they’re hoping to have those medical answers here in the next couple of days to see exactly what this is and when he could return to the floor.”

I find it amazing that a professional sports franchise in the city of Boston can’t identify which virus is infecting one of their star players. 

On the plus side, he seems to be getting closer to a return. 

- Oklahoma City’s defense is the best Boston has faced. The Celtics were still able to poke holes in it, but the holes are smaller and they close quickly. The Thunder really test quick decision-making, which puts pressure on the offense. 

Wednesday was a really good lesson for how quickly Boston has to play against these elite defenses. 

- There's a difference between a foul merchant like James Harden or Trae Young and a savvy foul-seller like Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. Harden and Young, at their worse, actively hunted fouls. SGA drives to score and takes advantage of a defense’s tendency to reach or bump. 

One side wants fouls and will score if they can, the other wants points and will draw fouls when they can. No matter how annoyed fans were at the calls, I see a major distinction. 

- According to Sportico, there are four bidders for the majority stake of the Celtics: 

“The Friedkin Group, Philadelphia Phillies minority owner Stan Middleman and Symphony Technology Group managing partner William Chisholm are among the groups that remain engaged in bidding for the Boston Celtics, according to multiple people familiar with the process.

Those three groups, plus one led by existing Celtics investor Steve Pagliuca, have all participated in management presentations with the NBA team, said the people, who were granted anonymity because the details are private. The next round of bids is due at the end of the week.”

There's still nothing that deters me from my original take that Pagliuca’s group will take it. 

- Jaylen Brown has played 55 games with 16 remaining. The NBA cutoff for postseason awards is 65. A lot of big names, like Luka Doncic, Joel Embiid, and Kawhi Leonard, have been eliminated from contention from things like MVP and All-NBA. LeBron James is on the cusp of elimination as he sits with a groin injury at 58 games played. 

There's an opening for Brown to make an All-NBA team this season and I don’t think he wants to pass it up. I think he’s gunning for an All-NBA team, which would be his second, to boost his Hall of Fame resume. If he can get that and another championship, keeping a two-time champion, multiple-All-Star, multiple All-NBA, Finals MVP out of Springfield will be hard. Especially if he can get close to or surpass 20,000 career points. 

- Good luck to Celtics Director of Scouting Remy Cofield, who is taking a GM position at Arkansas. Now that NIL exists, GM positions at schools are becoming high-profile, incredibly important positions. College sports is slowly turning into a minor league for professional front offices, so going from Director of Scouting to Arkansas GM can be a springboard that doesn't exist in a stable Celtics organization with little internal movement.

- Steph Curry took an assistant GM job at Davidson. I don’t think he’s doing it for career advancement purposes, though. 

- It was cool to see Svi Mykhailiuk get his championship ring handed to him by his former teammates. That made the ceremony much more personal than if it was Wyc Grousbeck or Brad Stevens. You can tell those guys had love for one another. That was a meaningful moment. 

- I’ve had a couple of people tell me Al Horford’s son Ean is a really good basketball player. Here he is playing two-on-two with a couple of the Celtics ball boys. Watch him after he makes the shot.

“You think you can block me?” and then leaving the follow through up is killing me. That is an incredible level of confidence for a young kid. 

And oh, by the way, his teammate here, Deuce Tatum, isn’t such a bad basketball player himself. 

I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt on that gather. He watches a lot of NBA where that's probably legal. 

I hope I’m still around in 2045 to write about the next Horford and Tatum combination in Boston. It’d be fun to sit down with Al, Jayson, Ean, and Deuce for a story. What I really hope is that someone calls me out of retirement from a private island to do that story. 

Frankly, I feel like the second part of that sentence is bigger fantasy. 

- Hitting 4,000 3-pointers is insane, Steph Curry. I know they're opposing players, but between that from Curry and LeBron going for 50,000 total career points, it’s hard to argue that we haven't seen two of the most transformative, elite players in NBA history. 

- The Lakers are in a bind with LeBron’s groin injury. They are in a hellish stretch because of games postponed by the wildfires, and they're falling in the standings quickly. 

They can try rushing LeBron back in an effort to hold their playoff position, but that risks an injury to a 40-year-old who has a history of breaking down at this time of year. They can deal with it and try to get him healthy, but that could drop them into the play-in, which means a first-round matchup with OKC or, maybe, Denver. 

It’s the worst timing for a soft tissue injury to one of their stars. We saw last night how Doncic plus the LeBron-less Lakers worked. Him doing it all and getting no help isn't going to get the Lakers very far. They might just be stuck. 

- Shaquille O’Neal embarrassed himself by not knowing who the coach of the Pistons was and then saying he doesn’t watch the Pistons because they're boring. Nevermind that it’s his job to know these things and to watch these games and know what’s happening. He’s getting paid millions to be on TV and analyze games and he, on March 14, can’t even remotely discuss one of the best stories of the season? 

At least the Pistons roasted him. 

- Tyrese Haliburton’s shot against the Bucks needs to go in the buzzer-beater Hall of Fame. 

That, by the way, is the same play the Pacers ran against the Celtics in Game 3 that resulted in the Aaron Nesmith miss. 

- I know we love round numbers, but we didn’t need all the five-year retrospectives on the league shutting down because of COVID. 

- Nico Harrison might not be good at his job. 

- This is a reunion I didn’t know I needed. 

Mo Cheeks is a legend for that moment. It was so cool that they arranged this.

- RIP Oliver Miller. 

- What’s the best way to stop Stephon Castle from driving? 

Take the wheels off his car!

Jaylon Tyson should be thankful all he got was popcorn. 

- Mark Daigneault is the best coach in the NBA. Not only was his gameplan against the Celtics practically flawless, he thinks up little tricks like what he pulled against the Denver Nuggets. 

He instituted what he called a “permanent sub,” which means he sent someone to the table and he never checked in. The reason? So the refs wouldn’t give Nikola Jokic the ball quickly after a dead ball to start a fast break. 

"The ball goes out of bounds in the NBA, the officials are the ones in charge of the pace of how fast the ball gets inbounded," Daigneault said. "He gets the ball very quickly and he starts the fastbreak. And the officials start the fastbreak for him because he demands the ball and they hand it to him and he zips up the floor…

“So I put a sub up tonight and I was like hey, you're going to have to call him in every single out of bounds in order to slow the game down if you guys are going to give them an advantage by handing the ball fast. They delay of gamed that. I don't know if there's a rule against doing that. I think you can have a sub up there and choose not to put him in the game."

I’d take the delay of game once to make my point with the officials. I think this was a brilliant move, and because of that and how well they played against the Celtics, I can’t help but say Daignault is having the Best Week Ever. 

- Instead of the weekly AI-generated photo, I present to you an actual photo that LOOKS AI-generated. 

Joke #1: It looks like SGA stuck his head out of a car on the highway. 

Joke #2: It looks like SGA saw someone playing a childbirth video in the front row.

Joke #3: Where exactly is Payton Pritchard’s left hand?

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored