Sports discourse has been wading in absurdity for a long time at this point. The popularity of sports debate shows has pushed panelists to craft takes so hot they make a volcanologist sweat. Contrary opinions aren’t “in” anymore, today’s takes have to be stripped of any context or fact before being set ablaze and lobbed like a Molotov cocktail through the screen.
It’s the only way they get attention.
It’s like Lisa Simpson walking into Nelson Muntz’ room the first time and noticing his poster.
“Nuke the whales? You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I dunno, gotta nuke somethin’.”
Between the hot-take merchants and the biased trolls, the sea of sports opinions is littered with more fakeness than all the plastics swirling in the ocean.
With the Celtics on their way to another quick series in which they were barely challenged with little more than a minor stumble, there isn’t much actual substance to discuss. They are worlds better than Miami and Cleveland, and the gap is even wider with each opponent missing a star. The Celtics own the best net rating in the playoffs, +12.3, and a point differential of +11.
They are a bit boring. The better team has basically dominated six of the nine games they’ve played so far. There isn’t much analysis to pull from either of their series.
Boston is a big market, though, and it's probably going to the NBA Finals. While there are much more interesting series to discuss around the league, TV shows can’t ignore Boston completely. As a person who spent 20 years going through television production meetings, I can guarantee you the “we have to talk about the Celtics at some point” conversation has been had multiple times.
And so a talking point is born.
“Yes, the Celtics road has been easy (pause for dramatic effect) TOO EASY! (cue lightning and thunder effects as maniacal echoey laughter ensues)”
Forget the nearly decade-long run of deep playoff runs. Forget the 64 wins this season. Toss it all up into a ball and throw it out. Because Jimmy Butler, Jarrett Allen, and one game without Donovan Mitchell has rendered this path so easy the Celtics will forget how to play NBA basketball for an entire series whenever they face somebody good.
That's not to say those players don’t change how the games play out. They're starters, and Butler is Miami’s best player. But just because they’d make things different doesn’t mean it’d be harder. Butler stalls the Heat offense looking for his isolations, so the one game Miami won wouldn’t have been played that way. Allen helps the Cavs defense but he’s a non-shooter who can be left to help, so the one game Cleveland won also wouldn’t have been played that way. Maybe each series would still go five, but just look different.
But all of that is beside the point because two things destroy this whole line of thinking.
First, every team out there would want to switch places with the Boston Celtics. Every fan complaining about it, every analyst whose former team has been eliminated by Boston, would gladly sign up to face two teams hobbled by injuries so they could quickly end these series. Every person who has written how this path is hurting the Celtics would be writing pieces about how their team is basking in the ability to rest and recover by handling their business early. They’d say the playoffs are a war of attrition, and their team has taken the necessary steps to win that war by getting a level of rest no one else in the playoffs can get.
And secondly, this is how it’s supposed to go. The Celtics are the top seed. They won 64 games. Their reward is, in fact, the easiest possible road to the Finals. Their first opponent is the eighth seed, a team so bad they couldn't win their first play-in game. Their second opponent is the winner of the 4/5 series, which features teams in the middle of the pack.
Middle-of-the-pack teams are inherently flawed. If they weren’t, they’d be a top seed. They are either on their way up and too young, on their way down and too old, or the victims of front office buffoonery and don’t fit. The Cavs might be a little mix of youth and bad GMing, but however you slice it, they're too flawed to take on a top seed at full strength, and have no shot if they're banged up.
Such is life for a top seed. This is how it goes. When the other teams they face in the first two rounds aren’t perfect, those first two rounds can be pretty easy. Congratulations on cashing in your Groupon for two free appetizers with the purchase of a full-price trip to the Finals.
None of this is to say Boston isn’t flawed. We’ve discussed all of that at great length. The Celtics do have things they need to prove before they win a title. And they're going to have to prove those things when the time comes. They are not free from criticism at all.
But this “too easy” or “I’m not impressed” stuff is lazy and petty. Everyone would trade places with Boston in a heartbeat and enjoy the path a top seed has earned. So if I might borrow Pat Riley’s advice to Butler for a second, I’d recommend that if your team isn’t the top seed that has earned the right to beat up on some patsies, then you should shut up. this “too easy” or “I’m not impressed” stuff is lazy and petty. Everyone would trade places with Boston in a heartbeat and enjoy the path a top seed has earned. So if I might borrow Pat Riley’s advice to Butler for a second, I’d recommend that if your team isn’t the top seed that has earned the right to beat up on some patsies, then you should shut up.