McAdam: Alex Cora on his year in exile, his return and why Opening Day last year wasn't his toughest day

It could have been a morose day, a time to consider his sins and what they had cost him. It would have been easy to fall into a pit of self-pity.

Last July 27, after a protracted pandemic-caused delay, baseball was back. Alex Cora was not, however.

Still, Opening Day was Opening Day. Cora decided it was a day to celebrate.

"Actually, we had a cookout,'' Cora told BostonSportsJournal.com, chuckling at the memory, "and we tried to watch as many games as possible. We were very excited to see Mookie (Betts) play (for the Dodgers). It was different, obviously. People might think Opening Day was very hard for me, but it really wasn't. We had some people around the house. So it was as normal as possible, as a fan.''

Cora hadn't planned to be home in Puerto Rico with family and friends as the 2020 season unfolded. But just 14 months removed from guiding the 2018 Red Sox to a World Series victory, by mutual agreement, he left his job as manager of the Sox after an investigation detailed his involvement with the 2017 Houston Astros' sign-stealing. Three months later, Major League Baseball suspended him for the entire 2020 season.

So Cora had unscheduled time on his hands. Perhaps naturally, he decided to pass some of it as a fan, watching as much baseball as he could. Or, more accurately, as much baseball as might be allowed for the father of young twins.

The consequences of his actions didn't weigh heavily on him that day. That had come earlier, on the occasion of the 2020 MLB Draft.

"That's when I realized the suspension was real,'' said Cora, "because they kept talking about the Astros losing draft picks and the Red Sox losing draft picks (as a result of Cora's action in 2017 in Houston and Boston in 2018). So that day was actually harder than Opening Day. The hardest one was Draft Day, because they kept mentioning it and mentioning it and mentioning it. It was like, 'Wow,' you know? We impacted two teams -- the Red Sox' situation and the Astros' situation. And not the way we wanted to.''

Cora weighs his words carefully as he speaks, mindful that the wrong word choice might suggest a cavalier attitude about his wrongdoing and the fallout.

"I try to avoid saying it,'' he says hesitantly, "because people might take it the wrong way, but in the end, people will take it however they want to. But it felt like I needed to be home, with everything that was going on (with the pandemic). Looking at the boys (Xander and Isander), looking at (partner) Angelica, looking at (teenage daughter) Camila and (stepson) Jeriel and everything we were living, I needed to get locked in there.

"I didn't have time to be wondering about, 'What if?' or 'I should be (at Fenway).' I don't want to say I was meant to be home because I wasn't meant to be home. But at the same time, you have to live in the present. From 7 a.m. to 7:30 p.m., it was non-stop at the house with the boys, and the whole college process (with Camila) and all that stuff. I didn't have time to be wondering about the 'what ifs' in my life.''

His family responsibilities done for the day, Cora would typically settle in for a full slate of games via the Extra Innings package. The Red Sox were an early-evening priority, but he would often give the remote a full workout well past midnight, watching games from the West Coast, too.

It was not uncommon for him to be watching one game on the terrace, another in the living room, another on his tablet and another on the phone. He paid special attention to the Dodgers, Padres, Yankees, Rays and Indians, and made sure to monitor a number of Puerto Rican stars to whom he's close: Carlos Correa, Francisco Lindor and Javier Baez.

"But most of the time, it was NESN, listening to Rem and Eck and Dave O'Brien,'' said Cora.

From his seat, he admits to some managerial second-guessing.

"I did it with Ron (Roenicke, his replacement), I did it with Boonie (Aaron Boone), I did it with Cashy (Kevin Cash) ... I did it with all the managers,'' Cora said. "I was looking for information, just watching and learning and managing my own game. It was interesting watching the game and following on Twitter, how people second-guess the manager, talk about players. It wasn't just the media, but also the fans. It was, like, 'Wow, this is wild. It's wild.'

"But at the same time, the social platforms are a great way to communicate with the fan bases. It's an interesting dynamic. But at the same time, it was a good learning experience.''

Like a lot of fans, Cora found it difficult to watch the Red Sox as their worst season in more than 50 years unfolded. But while fans reacted with a mix of disgust and rage as the team fell into irrelevancy, Cora could only feel helpless.

"It was hard because I was disconnected from everybody,'' Cora said. "Obviously, (the players) would check on me, check on the family. But the conversations were more about that. And it was less and less as the season went on, understandably so. Obviously, the contact (with the team's front office) was non-existent. And it was hard because there are relationships there.

"Just watching, it was like the year started off on the wrong foot (with his departure from the team). It was hard. This organization paid the price (with a draft pick) for something they had nothing to do with. And that was the hard part.''

On Thursday, Cora will re-take his place as Red Sox manager for the first regular-season game since Sept. 29, 2019. His mind will be cluttered with scouting reports and matchups and other minutia and he doubts the enormity of the moment will fully dawn on him.

"I think it's going to hit on the off-day (Friday),'' he said. "It's all going to happen so fast. That's the cool thing about it -- I think that off-day is going slow everything down. Friday is going to be a good say to decompress. Last year, I didn't have time to be thinking, 'What if? What if?' This year, I haven't had time to think, 'OK, here we are.'

"I think Friday will be that day.''