Some of the requirements I have for the next Red Sox manager as we contemplate how John Farrell will unload the place he just bought in Charlestown::
- Has to be able to speak in complete sentences that don't go in 25 directions before coming back to the main point.
- Knows more about baseball strategy and rules than Sully and Fitzy on the barstools at the corner bar.
- By the way, how are there female coaches in football and basketball, but not baseball?
- If he made his bones as a pitching coach, then he kind of needs to know when he can and can't remove a pitcher in the middle of an inning.
- Can't view female reporters like 3-1 fastballs. I don't care what else is going on. It can't happen. It just can't happen.
- When a punk pitcher who hasn't accomplished anything in baseball upbraids a Hall of Famer in the middle of the team charter, the manager will suspend that player for two weeks and admonish him publicly. There's a way to behave on a professional sports team, and that isn't it. If a player needs to be shown how to act, the manager will do that.
- When one of your "leaders" publicly shows you and his teammates up by making a display of saying that beanball, 'Wasn't me, it was them,' then that player better get a real butt chewing.
- When a certain segment of your team is turning into a collection of entitled and grumpy malcontents, the manager needs to call them into his office and tell them all to grow up, stop listening to things that don't matter, and do what they're getting paid to do.
- The next manager needs to handpick one or two veterans, they don't even need to make a lot of money or be huge names, for Dave Dombrowski to bring in and begin the reshaping of the locker room. Sort of like 2013. This shouldn't be Dustin Pedroia's team for much longer.
That's about it... for now.
A little bit of sad news around here. An early BSJ subscriber and an all-around good guy, John Andrews of Londonderry, N.H. via Orange, Mass. recently passed away. John was a huge Patriots, Bruins and Red Sox fan, and he was a big fan of mine. There wasn't much I wrote or said that he didn't consume. His family is in our thoughts. Rest in peace, John. Hope you have a good view of the games up there.
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And away we go...
Bruins are off in Phoenix.
8:45 a.m.: Bill Belichick press conference (Price)
3:45 p.m.: Patriots media availability (Price)
I love Serby, but really, a column about Kony Ealy slyly learning Tom Brady's when he was here for five minutes?